How Having Two Kids Changes You as a Mom

If you are a mom of two, you understand the way that you evolve as a mom when your second child is born.

If you’re wondering whether you should have another baby or planning on it, you should know that you do change as a person and as a mom; but if you’re anything like me, you will become more relaxed and able to enjoy the little, sometimes crazy, never perfect, things in life when your second makes their appearance.

Your life all of a sudden becomes busier and more full, but your heart becomes more full at the same time. It’s a crazy experience, especially when your kids are as close in age as mine are – 13 months. I never thought I could love another child as much as my first, but I quickly learned that I was very, very wrong.

Having two babies has made me a more confident mom, a more peaceful mom, and my attitude as a mom has evolved as well. They don’t lie when they say, “A baby changes everything.” Having two babies just means that things keep changing!

You’ve probably seen a chart or photo like the one above. There are endless commercials and articles about how life changes with your second child. Most of this is true.

I am much less concerned the second time around about doctor visits, dirt, sterilizing bottles and pacifiers, developmental milestones, perfectly matching adorable outfits, a dirty face, and the list goes on and on.

When I was pregnant and after I gave birth to my first, life revolved around him as expected. When I was pregnant for my second, I had my first baby to take care of so those 10 months flew by. We didn’t worry about the nursery until the last few months and the only reason I had a “sprinkle” was because it was a girl and everyone loves to buy cute girly things!

I knew that life was going to change. I knew I would be more carefree with my second. It was inevitable. Everyone knows that. There literally isn’t enough time in the day to treat both babies as if they are your first, and that’s fine!  What no one told me was that I would change my attitude and evolve as a mother to my second as well as my first.

I am a perfectionist, and this did not change when I became a mother. I was obsessed with my first in every way possible. It didn’t help that he had some health concerns that became quite serious after he was born, which consumed our lives for the first month of his. Luckily, he was able to completely recover and was back to a healthy and happy baby by month 2. Unlucky for me, I became a complete ball of nerves for most of the first 6 months of his life.

I would bet that if I didn’t get pregnant so soon after James’ birth I would have been a complete ball of nerves for most of the first year of his life or more! It’s amazing how God sends you little gifts in disguise when you least expect them.

Having a second child, especially so close in age to my first, changed me as a mom in more ways than I could have imagined.

I am a more exhausted mom. Getting up multiple times a night for two kids some nights is no joke. There have been times I have tried to put the baby’s diaper on the toddler, and times I’ve used face wash to wash my hair in the shower. This is why coffee was invented. I am a more wrinkled mom. My body has been through two pregnancies and two c-sections. It has changed as I have changed and I’m proud of our journey. I am busier, my house is messier, my time alone is limited, and my nails are not perfectly manicured as they used to be. I used to let all of these things get to me. Two years and two babies later, I try not to!

I am now a more peaceful mom because I try not to take little things for granted and appreciate what I have more than I used to. I am a more confident mom because I have recent experience caring for a baby. I have a more positive attitude and try to practice patience with my first because I know his life has changed drastically too.

I am a more easy-going mom. I no longer obsess over every little crumb and fingerprint. I sometimes sit back among the chaos and embrace the spit-up on my shirt because I feel grateful to have two beautiful healthy children who already love each other. I am a stronger mom. I am a more caring mom. I am a less selfish person overall.

Some of these things just come with the territory because, let’s be honest, life is much crazier with two, but I like to think that I’ve grown as a person while my family has grown as well. Sometimes because of the craziness, I am able to reflect on what is important in life and realize how crazy I used to be, worrying about every little thing. Being a mom is hard work, and the one experience in your life that will forever continue to change you. Bring on the change, embrace the good and bad, and enjoy the love <3.

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